Brace me and you for the most disjointed piece of writing I had ever concocted. However, I just have to pen all these down because... I am feeling frustrations and angst again :(
Of Bad Habits: Old habits die hard and I have tons of them residing in me. Delay and procrastination I think is so much a part of my life.... Well, should I say that if I were to imagine myself being a piece of solid untreated wood, these 2 words would be termites slowly eating me from within.. Sometimes, I really wished there would be this pest buster that would come to my rescue and get rid of them once and for all..
Of My Virtually Non-existence Love Life My trip to Beijing in 2006 has brought me to the Forbidden City and while I was there, the images of the emperors, concubines, eunuchs, servants and the tons of people living in this supposedly grand palace in China started to conjure in my mind... Why the topic of Beijing and all the talk about all the thing chinese? Because, at this moment in time, I feel like I am one of these concubines living in this palace that I have built for myself waiting for the emperor to call on me? Am constantly waiting and pining for smses from this special someone whose identity I shall not divulge coz I am not supposed to? It's pure pain and agony at its purest.... However, I believe that this feeling is something that I can triumph. It's not my first time at this but whatever it is my experience with the opposite sex just seems to get worse.. It does not seem to be getting better and no way am I closed to getting attached. As one of my close friends puts it, I am not blooming 18 neither am I blushing 25. Certain things should not matter anymore and any internal turmoils and struggles should be cast aside...I know she is right. I like him more than he likes me... and indeed it is not something that I am proud of.. But.. Am glad, for once, I had the courage to admit that straight into his face.... Of course his unsure reply was not for the faint hearted.. "After all that has happened, I do not know whether I am stil capable of liking anyone again...." How many woman can possibly take this lying down, smile and contiue and be contended? I think I can and my friends around me hated that... "You deserve better! Why are you short changing yourself" (or so they say) "Dont ever regret this, years later when you look back and ask yourself, what is the one special thing he has done for you.. None!" "Needing a man is like a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again" Have heard so much and I know at the botom of my heart.. my friends are right... The consequences list is long.... I know I have to play 2nd, 3rd or even the 4th fiddle in his life. I will NEVER be his number 1 (coz _a_ _ _ _g is). But well, is he my first fiddle... I don't know....
GLAMOUR SHOP
Quotes For Thoughts
#1 Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
#2 To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give, that takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
#3 Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.
#4 Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
#5 Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory!
THE GLAMOUR GIRL
Yanting
15th Jan
age is a secret; for me to know, for you to find out
Institutions that contributed to the present me:
#1 Tung Ling Kindergarten
#2 Haig Girls Pri
#3 Tanjong Katong Girls School
#4 NUS
#5 NTU
HER LIKES
- SHOPPING
- Enjoys being with her friends who brighten up her life and heartens her soul
- Loves food but picky about what she eats and who she eats with
- Reading is a definite mus
- Music ranging from Chinese Pop to Classical (PS/ simply adores Jay Chou
-Plays, movies and basically anything artsy intrigues her
- Karaoke!
- The sun, sand & sea
WISHES
- All my lovable darlings to pass their exams with flying colours and may they realise all their dreams and wishes
-For all around me to be happy and live life to the fullest!!! :)
-The reunification of the puffs real soon... miss the times we spend together and the tons of silly things we do... :(