Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Should I simply stop caring and stop loving and be devoid of all feelings..... My tears are rolling down my cheeks as I ask myself why am I putting myself through all these tortures .... Am just a number in the statistics of MOE and maybe I am just a statistic in the hearts of my students?
Enough said, enough done, enough heard, enough tries perhaps..... am starting to start questioning the purpose of my existance....
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Back.. I have taken a long long break from writing.... think the ink pot has somehow dried up and as usual, when it is dried, i find it exceptionally tough to refill it... An English teacher by profession should never encounter any trouble putting thoughts into words but am sad to say.. that is so not true! I can never understand how one can go through torrents of different emotions daily.... Feel like my life is that of the ECG graph? Or is that an understatement?
Think Happy thoughts!! I had the most memorable teachers' day in my 3/1/2 years of service selling my life to MOE..This year, I felt all was worth it.. The countless buckets of sweat and tears.. Not because I received the most number presents but because I have received the most number of meaningful and sincerely written cards and wishes.... Lots of them made me tear...(am a cry baby remember) On top of that, I received the most invaluable teachers' day present... i.e. the one and only specially designed mickey mouse T-shirt.. designed by some of my darlings from 4N7... No amount of money can buy it as it is UNIQUE (one of a kind).. Knowing that they spent a long long time toiling through it makes it even more special.. I guess no words can described how i felt... Did not received lots of gifts but they were all made with thoughts... It's not the price but the thought that counts... My door gift for teachers' day dinner was the most impressive of all!!! Think it should placed in school for all to see!!! If Mr Khairunan's was impressive.. mine would be awesome!!!! Mr Chong even made a comment that there should be a "Best Design Door Gift" Attended dinner, not expecting one on my table but.. boy, was i shocked to see a 3-D beacon at my place!!!
To my do do boss(who sacrificed his sleep) and my do do bert and the rest of my do do darlings that helped out, Thanks a million!!!
My dear dear gave me a guardian angel and to me that symbolises her...My Guardian Angel..."I know you are going through tough times!Rest assure I will always be there and remember, I have more than enough love for you and you are special and important to me!!! " Oh ya, I received the largest teachers' day card ever too!!! It's now displayed at home for all to see!!hehe :) My mum even said the potrait of me is so much prettier than how i really look haha! Thanks for making me look so good :)Think I love the hair!!!
Do do bert, Thanks for the air mail.. As I said.. really touched by your gesture....Not forgetting the tiramisu that the jing gang made!!! It's the best I have ever tasted!!!
Funky Daughter, thanks for the rainbow m&ms... It reminds me of how beautiful life can be.. When I am upset, I just look at it... haha! So i don't think i am ever going to eat it!!
Alicia, thanks for the lovely pair of earrings, I love it!! Will wear it to school one day!
I feel that despite the fact that there are areas of my life that seem to be incomplete and I do brood about them but I realise that I have tons of blessings and guardian angels (my students) whom I am growing with... Thanks for teaching me things life's lessons that I would never know without all of you.. Each and every single one of you are unique to me and I will never shut any of you out of my life.... There are days when I am tired and sometimes I do feel that my jar of love is fast depleting and nobody is filling it up... But for you guys, I will keep attempting to fill it in every way possible!!!! :)
There are other people whom I have not thanked and this does not mean I have forgotten about you guys.. Just lazy hehe :) Seeking for forgiveness now haha!!
Hey Fen, Am really happy for you.... Really!!!! Am glad for both mic and yourself... I will continue to pray for your happiness... :)Remember to pray for me too.. You guys know what I am praying for right hehe :p Below is what i lifted from Fen's blog... and this would serve as a reminder to me in my lull period..
每当有不如意的事情 。。 不论你多么的努力
但事情都没有转机时
就当这是上天给你的一个Long Vacation.
在这段时间你可以努力充实自己。。也可以趁机放松自己好好关心在自己身边的人与事。。。上天资自会安排。。
这段时间过后将会出现人生的改变。。