I have reached the point of no return and there is no turning back..Point of confusion and the only help i can sought is divine help and intercession needed..

Qing Ming season is here again.. Did it exceptionally early this year as my parents are leaving for Perth on tues... Off to visit my bro and yes this means I would be HOME ALONE for the next 2 weeks or so... Arrgh... and yes this would mean I have to do my own laundry (I need to learn how to use the washing machine..), settle my own meals (Ok, i do this most of the time....)But I guess, it also provides me with a time and space to reflect... haha!Somehow, I feel that I really don't have that much of a time to do just that.. but... let's just see how things go...

Guess we might jolly well be the noisiest family in the columbarium today... why? All due to our darling Charlie Brown "Josh" haha! Made it a pact that we would never let him know that he looks like one despite the fact that the resemblance is getting uncanningly similar day by day! Grandad took the long route.. and arrived late while we were all awaiting for his grand arrival.. As usual, he insisted his route was the shortest and therefore, the best... haha!Anyway, while i was on my way, i was deep in thought, ondering if i would meet the simple looking girl who sits cross-legged on the cold floor, offering her prayers in silence. I never fail to meet each time I vist the columbarium(not that i visit my grandma's niche every weekend).... My mum and i figured that she is the most filial person we have ever met....quite a touching sight i suppose. Each visit to the colombarium always brings tears to my eyes... Despite the fact that my grandma has passed away for 24 years, i believe all of us still miss her. Many a times, we fail to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us and apologise for the tons of misdeeds we may have committed... Think it is time to say all these.. I for one am guilty of that. I have never told my parents and relatives how much i love them and how blessed I am to have them in my life and walk me through dark, stormy days..If my grandma was still around, think my bro and I would easily be spoilt brats haha!

Fine, sue me for abrupt endings again... haha!

Look from the date and you will see how long i took to complete this entry haha!

Ok, ok.. I gather everyone thinks i am super duper lazy and of course i have not disappeared from the surface of the earth.. haha! One of the reasons is that I have really succumbed to germs and bacteria and fell sick.. :( Guess most of you have heard me coughing out my lungs in class... and finally after speech day, could take it no more and went to see the doctor... was given 3 days MC.... After the sore throat, came the abdominal pains and off to the doctor again... At this juncture, i would like to offer my sincere apologies to everyone for 4N7 who wanted to turn up for remedial... I was really in too much pain to get out from my bed... Have never been a real homely person but when i am sick, i guess i really seek solace in being at home...

There is just soo much to blog about... and i really don't know where to start... Speech day was magnificent.. I guess my darlings would not deny that! They sounded like angels of music(compared to the first rehersal)especially when they sang for "For the beauty of the earth"! But honestly, the song that brings me to tears is still... "Say Goodbye" .. I so remembered the day when all of us were filled with disappointment and worries that we would not be able to pull it off on the actual day... Kudos to all of you and of course Ms Lee for the commitment and dedication.. Always remember my analogy about eating green bean soup and ice creams,etc,etc for every single meals :)Life is never a bed of roses... This has always been my source of inspiration.. especially when i am down and out..

God has not promised
Skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives thro’;
God has not promised
Sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.

God has not promised
We shall not know
Toil and temptation,
Trouble and woe;
He has not told us
We shall not bear
Many a burden,
Many a care.

But God has promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the laborer,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing sympathy,
Undying love.

Annie Johnson Flint

Oh before i forget, one more things about speech day.. I am really proud off all of those who have won their prizes for their effort put in for the year 2005. Keep it up and the best is yet to be hehe :) Am sure all of you can do it! Remember, your greatest competitor is not others but yourself!

Hmm... I really wonder how i should describe the pizza potluck i had with my 4/7nians the other day... Really wish i had the opportunity to really sit down and chat with everyone but all of us seemed to be in a mad rush.. People rushing off for tuition, CCA, Ms chia and I rushing off for our briefing in the auditorium...Maybe the chalet in July will offer a better opportunity... Of course, i was also seething with anger at whomever who stole away with the 2 bottles of coke meant for the class! To me, it's irresponsible behaviour... Don't you know what is call sharing with your friends?!?!?!!

Despite the fact that I was sick, I managed to spend a day with Ah Girl in JB ... Guess we shared lots and somehow through our conversations she discovered the true issues bugging me... It dawned upon me that i am really a control freak and i HATE things that i have no control over, despite the fact that i am a free spirit at heart... Somehow it is just hard to let go but i guess it is rather pointless brooding over things that would never change no matter how much effort i put in... There are just situations where no matter how hard you try to make things work, things just don't turn out the way you want it too.. Hmm... i really wish i was less a control freak and can accept whatever that comes my way....

"Don't touch the kettle, it's hot and will burn you! " my mom used to tell me that when i was really young.. However, my curiousity got the better of me and of course i did not heed her advice and got burnt. Somehow this rebellious streak in me never seems to disappear with age... Despite the fact i know the consequences of my actions, i still choose to do things that would inflict hurt upon myself and my friends who hurt because they hate to see me upset...

Had a drink with Lao Er on the last week of school... Guess i let my guard down and poured everyhing out to him... I have been acting like an ostrich... He made me realise that when we don't talk about the issues wearing us out and try to make things SEEM as normal as possible... it doesn't mean that the problems are solved.. Be brave, admit that it still hurts and bothers you and let it go okie(I know it's not easy coz I can't sometimes, but am willing to try) :) Behind the smile sometimes is a face streaked with tears... Why am i saying this? I know i am NOT the only one who is suffering in silence and I hope that this helps... I can provide the listening ear...just like how all my friends are always there for me.. Talking about which, i missed Fen sooo much that i had a 2 hour conversation with her on the phone and that cost my dad $22!:)

Met my evilest bro on thurs (yes when i was in pain but i figured that if i did not make the trip out, i would not see him for the next 6 months) Somehow i could sense his unwillingness to leave Singapore this time... maybe he is really indeed tired...Sounds silly when i asked him what did he missed the most during his period of absence... His answer simply appalled me..."DRIVING?!?!?!?" Ya, we all know he has a nice fierce looking car but... haha.. the answer still sounds rather absurd but i so believe it coz we share the common love for cars.. except he for the engines capacity, me for the body :) So look who is the dense one at this point? :)

Went back to JY last night to visit Karen (poor girl is in school for her guides camp) Bought her cheng teng from Bedok Camp to cheer her up..:) I still like the peace and quiet in JY... Am not making an attempt to compare but the peace and quietness is something that BV does not have...Feel so at home and that is such a major irony coz am not part of the school anymore...Always reminisence the times i have with my bunch of crazy neighbours... Just like Mr Yong, Mr Su, Mr Chong, Ms Chia, Ms Goh, Mrs Kua.. By the way, my carebear is a little filthy now.. haha!Bought it with Karen at Taka and left it behind for her when i left... Saw Yan Ling and she really looked more matured and prettier now hehe :) Wish i had more time to catch up with her... but i guess she was on duty and couldn't talk much...

Guess the biggest kid of all must still be Mr Jae... Somehow he has the patience to deal with little kids despite the fact that he is already burried up to his neck with work .. this little girl was calling for him and he actually stopped what ever he was doing and made time for her... Maybe i should really throw my Charlie Brown at him one of these days and see if he has the talent of dealing with him haha! My cute and lovey irritant who has the ability to make me tear my hair out haha! :) Know what, he is really one of my idols when it comes to the teaching profession... Have seen him in action, and he is always willing to go the extra mile to help the students...

Ok, enough of rambling.. should be blogging soon.. i hope :) See everyone on Mon! :)

First and foremost, I think I ought to congratulate Charlyn on winning the first super host ever... :) No doubt, we might not be buddies but still she is one of my friends who I hang out with together with the puffs.... So congratulations:) If I were her, I would really be extremely exhilarated! haha! Fancy 50,000 and a renault megane(despite the fact that it's not my dream car lah hehe but it's a car after all right?:p)Do I sound as if I have just tasted green apples freshly plucked from the plantation?hehe :) No doubt, I am really happy for her but on the other hand, it makes me feel quite "small" ... Makes me question what in the world I have done with my life..... I do admit that I am a little jealous or should I say envious? Sometimes, I really wonder what is the difference between these 2 words.. Sometimes, I wish that the green eye monster would never appear but .... it just keeps re-emerging these days... *Sigh* I wish I were her though.. If only I was as slim as her... Will definitely take part in such competitions haha!

Anyway, i have a lot to blog about but am really quite busy these few days.. Just had an unpleasant experience this morning and I don't think this is the appropriate spot to vent my fustrations... Anyway all the best for everyone taking their common test at the present moment and I know how horrid it is to have to sit for so many papers at one go.. Bear with it ok for at the end of the tunnel will be light! :)

Quotes For Thoughts
#1 Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.

#2 To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give, that takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.

#3 Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.

#4 Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

#5 Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory!




Yanting
15th Jan
age is a secret; for me to know, for you to find out
Institutions that contributed to the present me:
#1 Tung Ling Kindergarten
#2 Haig Girls Pri
#3 Tanjong Katong Girls School
#4 NUS
#5 NTU



- SHOPPING
- Enjoys being with her friends who brighten up her life and heartens her soul
- Loves food but picky about what she eats and who she eats with
- Reading is a definite mus
- Music ranging from Chinese Pop to Classical (PS/ simply adores Jay Chou
-Plays, movies and basically anything artsy intrigues her
- Karaoke!
- The sun, sand & sea



- All my lovable darlings to pass their exams with flying colours and may they realise all their dreams and wishes
-For all around me to be happy and live life to the fullest!!! :)
-The reunification of the puffs real soon... miss the times we spend together and the tons of silly things we do... :(



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