My dearest someone, your sms really woke me up... The feeling of guilt is consuming me now... I really hate myself for not being able to spend more time with my darlings (citizens in my form class as well as members of my choir and some other lovely people that i know) these few weeks... Know that I have neglected a lot of you.. All I manage these days is just a "Hi and how's everything?" I don't even have the chance to stop and really chit chat and make jokes like I used to. Am a teacher and my core business is my relationship witn my students... It's like it's an uphill task and I really pray feverantly that someone up in the ivory tower will realise that teaching is NOT about results.. It's not about how many As or Bs that a student can produce. It's not about meeting targets and MSG(sounds like monosodium glutimite)... but rather it's about the human touch and allowing students to realise that you really care for them and they are worth it.. I spend more than 50% of my time dealing with papers when I should actually be spending more time with our students but alas sometimes my hands are tied.... :(
Guess no amount of apologies will help............
Friday, July 14, 2006
I have a book written by the Dalai Lama entitled "The Art of Happiness" Remembered reading through it but of course did not complete it and whatever was written in the book is considered gone with the wind i.e clearly and cleanly forgotten! However, the little amount of life experiences that i have has taught me that the art of happiness is simply being happy and contented and to have the time to simply watch the world go by and enjoy every sigh and sound that i chance upon. In simple words, it's to enjoy the simple things in life.. I know it's tough but we have to give ourselves a chance..
Brooding over things that we can't control seem to have become a habit and I believe that sometimes human beings are saddists. We enjoy but hate to admit that we simply love the feeling of being tormented by our emotional turmoils. Without the feelings of rejection and hurt, we don't seem to be able to go on...Sometimes it is this highly depressive force that drives us on, time heals all wounds and this i believe... We sometimes live in the conviction that we will NEVER be able to get over such mind devouring thoughts but Mr Brain and Ms Emotions work in a real funny way. No matter how painful or how hurtful the experience can be, one day, all will heal what is left is the scar that reminds us of what we have been through..... Everytime I meet someone new who I have a soft spot for and when things do not turn out the way that I want it to (and this means NEVER ... not once at all), I keep asking myself how am I ever going to get over it.... but somehow I do... :) All these dozens of encounters should have taught me to bubble wrap myself and live in a safe guarded environment where nobody can hurt me... but i never learn, don't I? Still prone to exposing myself to everything and anything that can hurt me!! hehe :) However, take it in the good light, whatever that does not break me will break me..
Out of the blue, I do long for that special someone to step into my life and sweep me off my feet haha! ok, enough of my lala land nonsense.... Know that is never ever going to happen... can't seem to imagine anyone who will like a gal like me... Really am blogging my subconscious mind now.. Darn!!!
We are not omnipotent and there will always be situations when we can't handle these problems... so when in times like that Let Go and Let God (whatever religion you may believe in!)
Seeing all my darlings acheving mediocre grades for their exams just somehow saddens me but am not totally disappointed... Feel that this would serve as a wake up call for them and urge them to go their extra mile so as to better their results! I know the best is yet to be and all of you will pull up your socks!!! Remember you are suppose to peak during the actual N levels!! :)Hey mian mian, I know what your worries are and what I want to say is this,"You can do it if you cast away all your self doubts... I want to see you back in BV next year too! :)
Have not seen all my choir darlings for the past 2 weeks and I really miss them... :( But somehow, I have this uncomfortable feeling that things are not as rosey as they should be and there are some who are slowly turning into devils? Hope my vibes are not accurate.. I always want people to attend CCA and have fun and not attend it because they dread the punishment that comes along with it.. If the need arises...guess i have no choice but to dish it out accodringly....
GLAMOUR SHOP
Quotes For Thoughts
#1 Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
#2 To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give, that takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
#3 Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.
#4 Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
#5 Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory!
THE GLAMOUR GIRL
Yanting
15th Jan
age is a secret; for me to know, for you to find out
Institutions that contributed to the present me:
#1 Tung Ling Kindergarten
#2 Haig Girls Pri
#3 Tanjong Katong Girls School
#4 NUS
#5 NTU
HER LIKES
- SHOPPING
- Enjoys being with her friends who brighten up her life and heartens her soul
- Loves food but picky about what she eats and who she eats with
- Reading is a definite mus
- Music ranging from Chinese Pop to Classical (PS/ simply adores Jay Chou
-Plays, movies and basically anything artsy intrigues her
- Karaoke!
- The sun, sand & sea
WISHES
- All my lovable darlings to pass their exams with flying colours and may they realise all their dreams and wishes
-For all around me to be happy and live life to the fullest!!! :)
-The reunification of the puffs real soon... miss the times we spend together and the tons of silly things we do... :(