Friday, September 26, 2008
Learning Points:
1)Never be toooooo HONEST... 30secs. NEVER say that it is 30sec. Just say.. i am not sure. It's up to the producers to decide.
2)Never be too careless
3)Think Before You Speak
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Hamburger and that was what someone called me years ago and I never can erase that name from my mind....Why do I feel so ugly everyday? :( Am a super piggy.... Wish I could just lose the extra round of spare tyre and flabs in order to be like all my friends around me.....slim and beautiful. Yah I know... I snack and all and my mum is going to attribute it to all the packets of instant noodles and chips that I so love..The MSG and unhealthy preservatives simply gives me the high especially after a tough day at work...
Tried on countless occasions to give it up but it is just so tough...Am already upset and depressive over my weight and to give up all these comfort food is like asking Linus to give up his blanket... Pure torture! There are days when I just starve myself throughout the day but get so famished at night and start refuelling my food-depreived body with all the junk. Perhaps I am really a junk yard.....
Have received numerous "complements" from my mum telling me that I look like a pig and I am gettig fatter and fatter each day and it cuts me like a knife. This happens when I eat a little more or catches me nibbling on my private stash of tidbits. Imagine being stabbed over and over on the same sport... Should be immune but I am not... Love my mum so much that I have to hold my tongue in order not to upset her. I know that she makes such statement because she wants me to lose weight and all but... sigh.... the converse holds true...It makes me hate myself more. When I look at my thigh sometimes, the impulse of grabbing a knife and cutting off the extra pounds of hideous looking fat that makes them look like a tree trunk grips me at times :(
I don't have to be a celebraty.... Just someone who is slim, attractive, healthy and intelligent....
Are looks really that important?
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Finally understand how my kids feel when i lash at them.. I just got it today and I wish that the earth would open a hole and swallow me in.... Totally embarrassing and humiliating..
Well, the power of positive thinking.. i shall think positive and be positive. If I can be encouraging to others, I should be able to encourage myself too right? It's an uphill struggle but since I am already in it... I can't turn back and I have reached the point of no return......