Monday, February 20, 2006
Figured I must have shocked everyone with what I posted last sat... no explaination or what so ever.. Anyway, there is no reason why I posted that... Was just an expression of my boredom...getting a little impatient and bored while waiting for Ah Girl to come and pick me up... so I deecided to surf the net and found that.... Could so relate to it at that moment in time...
As usual.. she was about 75 mins late haha! It's funny but I guess I am one with immense patient... especially while waiting for my friends to turn up haha! As usual... we did some shopping and ended up buying senseless stuff from the Mini Toons at Cineleisure! Laugh at us for all we care! We enjoy buying cute but impractical stuff....some therapy I figured... If you ever see me carrying a Hello Kitty Box into class.. you know where I got it from! Somehow, I think these items do not suit my personality but...who cares.... I guess there is a sweetie pie side of me that not everyone gets to see.. in fact sometimes, i think it's the gentliest and weakest side of me... I think by far only my close friends have seen it... Comes naturally when it is suppose to surface(quite shy i guess) so don't make me act it out in class.. coz it would be such a fake! haha! Sounds as if I suffer from split personality...in fact i think I do.... Honestly I hate "sweetie pie" when it appears once in a while... Feel that I have lost my realm of control and I feel lost when I am not in control...Am a free spirit that cannot be tied down but still I love the notion of being in control?!?! If I were to use and adjective to describe me.. It would be confuse!!
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Andrea was waiting in anticipation to hear Aaron's voice at the other end of the phone but all that greeted her was "You have reached mailbox number....." Not again... nothing extraordinary out from the normality... She really wished she knew what was happening.....Was he avoiding her calls or were there other reasons behind this action.... A thousand and one possibilities started popping out like bubbles in her puny brain just like the fuzzy air bubbles from her favourite can of coke... Her brain cells were mentally exhausted from this guessing game that he so often teased her with.. but she still found no answer to the question she posed... What could possibly be the reason? Aaron and only Aaron had the answer....
Andrea could take it no more. With her lap top switched on, she started jotting down her fustrations and with every word she unleashed, it contributed to another tear drop brimming at the edge of her lids, threatening to turn into a major thunderstorm any minute from now.
"I can't take it no more. A friendship has to be a reciporcative, it can't be a one way traffic. I am getting sick and tired of being at your beck and call... It's not only about I,Me and Myself! The only 3 miserable and pathetic words that exist in your dictionary.. Craig David's song should be your favourite too since you so enjoy walking away from the troubles in your life!
There are days when I need you too....Where were you when I so needed a shoulder to cry on? If you have no wish to talk to me, can't you have the decency to let me know and don't go missing my calls and messages? Are you a piece of log, immune to your surroundings? Can you sense my fustrations? What on earth have I done to deserve all these..My only mistake is... to see you more than a friend.. If falling in love with you is a sin, i might jolly well be the greatest sinner on earth. "
At this juncture, she could write no more. Finally, the cross that she had been carrying with her for the past four years has been put down. She has finally come to terms with her true feeling, the monster she could never look straight into the eye with.. All her tears of anguish were rolling down her rozy cheeks. Hugging onto her Stich that was now soaked with her waves of emotions, she pondered if these tears were those of fustrations or relieve.. She knew the course of action she had to take but she also knew right at the back of her mind, she would never be able to cut the ties.....
(PS inspired by the story i heard at Ah Fei's house over after dinner discussion sun night.. Have not written a piece of decent narrative writing in years...seriously hope it is still readable hehe :p Guess lots of people can relate to it...... )