When i was on my way home, i couldn't wait to switch on the computer and write down every single emotion i was experiencing... I guess it is really hard for me to say goodbye.. Just brings me back to the first time she left in 2003 when i was still teaching in JYSS.. nobody knew that i actually cried myself to sleep couple of days before she left but i felt it was a great idea coz by the day she left, my tears had all run dry and i was rather at peace with myself and had accepted the fact that she was leaving. On the night before she left, she was sharing on how we were getting too comfortable and we need changes to upset the equilibrium if not we would refuse to leave our comfort zone and our lives would be stagnant.. Deep within I knew she was right....things would remain status quo and we would never progress... It's funny about how the three of us were worried about one another but never did we once express it.. our only assurance was,"whenever you need a friend or a shoulder to cry on, i will be there!" Sometimes, some things are better left unsaid. Words are cumbersome and serves as a deterrant to communication..
Back in august, things were different, I know that she would be back in December to celebrate Christmas with us but this time round, there is no feeling of anticipation... I have no idea when i will see her again... If she finds a job, she will not return to Singapore in the near future...
Despite the fact that I have always prided myself as being a truly expressive person, I have never told her(should i say them)straight into her/their face that i appreciate her/their friendship and everything that they/she has/have done for me.. Somehow the three of us are never such expressive people... I try at times but flop so badly..
Fen, thanks for being there all the time.. So many times have i fallen and you were there to apply balm, soothe me and wake me up from my unrealistic dreams.. Thanks for entertaining my long distance calls and making me feel better...
Mic, thanks a lot for always being there for me this past 12 years and through you i have met other fantastic and amazing friends.. thanks for dealing with me in the middle of the night at 2 am when i was in dire straits...just to let u know, it really helped...
2005 was filled with more nightmares than sweet dreams.... there were times, when i was so lost and I felt that i was sinking deeper and deeper into things.. problems that i so can't control and only my logical puffs can understand... I guess the puffs will never be the puffs without either one of you..but somehow i figure the spirit would remain and things would not change over time and distance right? :) For the past 1/1/2 years, i have been missing the times that we spent together... our silly holidays that was always filled with laughter, food and shopping.. Somehow all these memories never fail to put a smile on my face when i think about it...
Tears are rolling down my checks as i am ranting on and on, it somehow makes me feel better when i can put what i can't say into writings.. Yes, I am a cry baby at times but this bunch of friends have accepted me for whatever i am and they have made me stronger..
GLAMOUR SHOP
Quotes For Thoughts
#1 Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
#2 To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give, that takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
#3 Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.
#4 Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
#5 Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory!
THE GLAMOUR GIRL
Yanting
15th Jan
age is a secret; for me to know, for you to find out
Institutions that contributed to the present me:
#1 Tung Ling Kindergarten
#2 Haig Girls Pri
#3 Tanjong Katong Girls School
#4 NUS
#5 NTU
HER LIKES
- SHOPPING
- Enjoys being with her friends who brighten up her life and heartens her soul
- Loves food but picky about what she eats and who she eats with
- Reading is a definite mus
- Music ranging from Chinese Pop to Classical (PS/ simply adores Jay Chou
-Plays, movies and basically anything artsy intrigues her
- Karaoke!
- The sun, sand & sea
WISHES
- All my lovable darlings to pass their exams with flying colours and may they realise all their dreams and wishes
-For all around me to be happy and live life to the fullest!!! :)
-The reunification of the puffs real soon... miss the times we spend together and the tons of silly things we do... :(